danggit at dait ng buhay

mom went to cebu for a week to atend her office seminar. so, this day, we were supposed to meet her to help her bring the pasalubong boxes (courtesy of jil)

went there a bit early and hanged out at 7-11 meycauayan branch. imagine, after 4 years, ngayon lang ulit ako napatambay sa 7-11 namin! hehe...

pero di pwedeng magsaya ng sobra.
habang nangangamoy danggit ang bahay namin, nangangamoy kape at biskwit ang kabila...

namatayan ng anak ang kapitbahay namin.
kababata ko siya, but we weren't close.
he was a special child.

the thing is, mas matanda ako ng isang taon sa kanya...

condolences...
may you rest in peace with the almighty...

especially for you

Especially for you
I wanna let you know
what I was Going through
All the time we were apart
I thought Of you
You were in my heart
My love never changed
I still feel the same

Especially for you
I wanna tell you
I was feeling that Way too
And if dreams were wings,
you Know I would have flown to you
To be where you are
No matter how far
And now that I’m next to you

No more dreaming about Tomorrow
Forget the loneliness and the sorrow
I’ve got to say
It’s all because of you

And now were back together,
Together I wanna show you
my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you

Especially for you
I wanna tell you,
you mean all the world to me
How I’m certain that
our love was Meant to be
You changed my life
You showed me the way
And now I’m next to you

I’ve waited long enough to find you
I wanna put all the hurt behind you
And I wanna bring out
all the love Inside you,
oh

and Now were back together,
together I wanna show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you

You were in my heart
My love never changed
And now that I’m next to you

No more dreaming about Tomorrow
Forget the loneliness and the Sorrow
I’ve got to say I
t’s all because of you

And Now were back together,
together I wanna show you
my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you

Together, together
I wanna show you
my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you

without me

i had an inspiration
to call you on the phone
to tell you i once loved you
there aint nobody home
the night is cold and empty
are you out there alone
without me?
it's really for the better
that you're not in today
i shouldn't still be trying
to talk to you this way
but i can't give up hope
you'll start to notice you're

without me
*without me
how can you live

without me
my world is gone
but you carry on
without me

i've made my life fulfilling
to take you off my mind
my head is always willing
my heart is not that kind
i'm the one who left you
and you're the one who's fine
without me

laugh if you want
you have no right
it was just like you said
i spend my nights alone
without you

*without me
how can you live
without me

my world is gone
but you carry on
without me

i had an inspiration
to call you on the phone

a week...

di ko alam kung pagkatapos ng linggo na ito e nasa matino pa akong pag-iisip

pero i respect your decision when you said it is a rational thing to do for our relationship.

i guess, we just have to use the time to reflect on things. discover ourselves more so that we can understand each other better.

if that is what you want, go ahead.

i just want you to know that i love you, and i'll be here every step of the way...

the same way i expect from you

same and opposite predicaments

dahil sa lungkot, i deciced to look for someone to talk to online.
ako kasi yung klase ng tao na kailangang ihinga ang saloobin to someone trustworthy and is capable of understanding para gumaan ang loob ko.

was able to catch one of my cyberfriends in ym.

was able to blurt out what i have been keeping to myself.

after telling my prob, nasabi niya na magkaugali raw sila ni bhe ko. and in some way, we are on the same boat.

and i find it a nice opportunity to understand where they are coming from at a different perspective ( a non-participative point of view)

its not that i don't undestand Jil nang siya lang. pero i get to know more i guess when i am emotionally unattached...

the story of the dotted paper

The story of the dotted paper

a class one day, a professor brought with him a piece of white bond paper with a tiny dot at the center and showed it to the whole class.

he then asked the students to observe the paper. after a while, he told the students to write in a piece of paper an observation about the piece of paper.

after dismissal, the professor scanned through all the answers he got.

he found out that the students answered one thing...

"there is a black dot on the paper"

nobody didn't even acknowledge the fact that the paper is white.

all they saw was the blemish.

--------------------------------------------------------------

i guess that is what is always noticed.

a few mistakes.

but the mistakes just covers up all that is good, making it seem that you are nothing more than the mistakes...

i feel like that paper.

a dotted paper.

all my life i am trying to be good. to do good. to excel.

and i admit i make mistakes.

but why is it that when you commit mistakes, those negative things are all that matters?

all good things are set aside.

why?

tell me why?

life isn't black and white

ang hirap maging issue ano?
pero tandan mo na andito lang ako... hindi ka nag-iisa...

black and white

life isn't about white and black.

there are shades in between because of our individuality.

no one has the right to dictate to anyone what his or her color should be.

that is given to one's self as a path to take.

who are you to say that i cannot be what color i choose?

may it be pink, or red or blue?

i am my own life's painter

i hold my own brush

and i choose my own paint

because in the end,

it's my masterpiece i am painting.

not yours.

on omens and patterns...

recent events led me to be emotionally unstable, saying things out of what i am feeling at the surge of emotions.

i never expected something out of what i recently posted. it's just that i just want to let all my anxiety out of my chest. it's so hard to keep it inside.

i have grown tired of punching the walls, and throwing tantrums, and killing myself by working out as if there is no tomorrow.

but then, what i have posted made a sad impression to someone i love so dearly.

bigla tulog siyang napatanong kung napapasaya ba talaga niya ako...

nag online ulit ako, after we talked sa phone.

checked yung blog niya and i have read something that made me realize how foolish i am sa mga ginagawa ko...

--------------------
i believe
(sunshine bhe)

i have always believed in omens...
never in patterns...
patterns leave no room for hope; none too for happiness.
patterns leave you feeling so choked up and trapped.
i have always believed in omens...
never in patterns...
good omens give you hope, a chance for happiness.
bad omens give you challenge, as well as a sense of triumph in the end.
in the end you'll know you will always be the winner.
your cause will always prevail; if not, an epiphany will surely be there to set you free...

i know you have been forever imprisoned by patterns; dementing you, preventing you from being totally happy in life.
i pray to be your omen.
i pray to be the herald of that much needed epiphany in your life.

--------------------

i guess i am seing the world in the wrong point of view

it's not that i have never been happy in my life.

but as i have said, i have feared of being too happy, realizing what will follow, according to some patterns that i have observed.

i remember happy times. and i remember sad times too...

but then, i guess, for me to be really happy, i must outgrow the fears again.

and i must acknowledge the fact that this time, i am not alone.

that the statement above shows an omen...

and whatever it is, it will lead me to a road pointing to the land of happiness...

obstacles

before, i have this thinking that stopped me from being so happy.

i have observed my life since i had the capacity to do so.

the patterns tell me something.

whenever i get so happy over something, bad things follow.

something that can bring tears in my eyes, strong enough to wash away my smiles...

i guess, here i am again.

after believing that it is not true.

it all boils down to the patterns again...

04-05-06

Ang special ng date no!
At natapat pa sa isa pang espesyal na araw...

Happy Monthsary Bhe!

when moon and sun collides

i thought that moon and sun
cannot collide.
or if they do
they happen in dreams
or in tales.

but i guess i am wrong
in this regard.
for today
i saw it
happening right before my eyes.

the sun and moon
as they intertwine
and cause such great glow
that filled the darkness
with a light so bright

the kind of light
that cannot be seen
but can only be felt
by a loving heart
entwined between loving arms.

edsa shrine, pep squad compe, alimall, atbp!

Dahil ngayon ay linggo, magsisimba ako. Pero ako ay nagkapritso...
Napadpad ako sa Edsa Shrine para makasama ang bhebhe kong hirang.
It actually is my first time to go to that church to hear mass.

At gaya ng paniniwala ko noong bata ako, i get to wish sa church na yun (dahil first time ko, ahihihihi...)

Mababaw lang naman ang hiling ko e, ang maging maayos at masaya ang mga mahal ko sa buhay pati na rin ang ibang mga tao. Sa ganun pa lang, magiging masaya na ako.

At hindi ito sagot na pang beauty contest lang. (duh, as if...)
Siguro, ito ang magiging sagot ng katab ko na kamukha ni IC Mendoza.

Go naman kami sa Araneta to wait for the start of the Cheerdance Competition.
Pero dahil di ako nakapagbreakfast, go kami sa Dunkin.

Napagsilbihan kami ni Hart na sumasabay sa pagkanta ng mga giliw niyang customers.

Wait kami sa Araneta. At nanood. At tumayo. At humiyaw. At humirit. At humataw. UP FIght!

Tuloy kami sa Gateway.

Italianni's ang tungo. Nagpakasosyal ang nagmamahalan.

Tapos ay naghunting ng isang bagay sa Alimall, kaso, di ko rin nakita...

Haaaaayyyy... What a day...